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Thursday, March 31, 2011


This is what Michael and I plan to write about soon so keep checking for these posts.
A tribute, The Story of Speedy the Turtle, Part II of Eighty Pounds of Laundry, Molly's Bucket list, Michael Declares a Major!, Elementary Crushes, and many more.


Molly Weissinger

Bucket List

My bucket list is a compilation of things that I need to do before I die. This bucket list is always changing. I can add to the list when I learn about something new, and I remove tasks on the list when they are complete. That being said, I have not yet done any of the things on this list. Let me know if you have any suggestions to add to my bucket list or you can help me complete something on the list. I will be back to edit the list whenever anything changes.

-seduce a sexy gypsy (for information is a plus)
-go zorbing
-bungee jump
-ice climb
-write a book
-visit every country in the world
-revisit every country in the world
-road trip across the United States
-road trip to Canada
-spend a summer at sea
-hike across an entire state or country
-climb Mount Kilimanjaro
-climb Mount Everest
-ski Jackson Hole and the Sierra Nevada
-change something at UVA
-live or spend at least 2.5 months in California just to spite my parents
-learn Chinese
-learn Japanese
-learn French
-learn Italian
-read Anna Karenina
-spend a year doing nothing, but travelling
-spend an entire winter in Vail (or somewhere similar)
-hike the Appalachian Trail
-work as a bartender
-work in a real job
-win an election
-swim the English Channel
-rock climb a lot
-watch the entire Star Wars series back to back
-read War and Peace
-publish something
-go to graduate school
-own a large boat as an investment
-run from Charlottesville to Charleston
-drive in New York City and California just to spite my dad
-rent a moped and drive it all around Tuscany
-sail the Aegean Sea stopping to eat the best Greek food in the world
-get my massage license
-work odd jobs in foreign countries
-go on a safari
-pet a bear
-go to the most dangerous place in the world
-get my picture in People magazine
-get paid for modeling or acting
-live in South America
-live in Asia
-hook up with somebody from Australia
-own a Prada suit
-go BASE jumping
-go hand gliding
-high wire, or walk on tight wire at an elevated distance
-go helicopter skiing
-go ski jumping
-go sky surfing!
-go sky flying!
-skate across a natural pond
-go spelunking
-own a motorcycle
-go off every cliff at Vail
-go off the Olympic jumps at Deer Valley
-sail across international waters
-go sandboarding
-go luging, both street luge and real luge
-learn how to surf
-learn how to wakeboard
-get my boating license
-go on a boat around the world stopping at both obscure and well known ports
-involve the New River Gorge in one of my extreme sports activities
-want to marry somebody
-do all my readings for class
-verify the family tree and publish a personal genealogy
-open a restaurant in Charlottesville
-open an art gallery
-share a meal or coffee with Howard Singerman
-Camino del Santiago
-meet Christina Aguilera
-meet Shakira
-hop a train and travel a significant distance, illegally (already done this with a boat)
-write an article about West Virginia travel
-walk 8 or more dogs at once
-get a job or advance my career by using my facebook
-charm a snake
-hypnotize someone
-go to a yogi party
-make the bus drivers my friends
-listen to a firsthand account story of a homeless person
-go inside an apartment in the building where NBC’s “Friends” were presumed to have lived
-have sex in a shitty location – really cold air and really hard surface
-win something at the West Virginia State Fair
-spend a notable amount of time assimilated with an indigenous tribe
-change the personality of a douche bag
-be in a room with only billionaires
-hot air balloon alone
-sky dive multiple times in one day
-go inside every sorority house
-swim in Lake Graney
-meet my distant cousins who live in other countries
-meet the other Michael Graney’s in the world (ones I know of are in Philadelphia, New York State, Australia, Sterling VA)
-do a “helicopter” off a ski jump
-SKI EAST VAIL!!!!!!!!!!
-Minturn mile
-Be mistaken for a native in every country I visit (ongoing) [mistake can be made by anyone]
-grow a pony tail
-go to a cheerleading party
-drive a Lamborghini
-ski Chamonix
-learn an important government secret
-know how Dionte’s life turns out
-turn a hippie onto Friends of Coal
-make the world learn that they actually DO love coal and oil
-take my nephew (or future kids in my family) to do something on this list
-be in the Uffizi after hours
-live in Florence, Paris, Barcelona, and/or Amsterdam as an expatriate, similar to the Sun Also Rises
-be featured in a glamour shot with Katerina in a magazine, preferably The Old 160
-party at Ole Miss
-sing on stage at a large concert venue
-win $2000 dollars in Las Vegas
-go into a coal mine
-stand within 20ft of a hippopotamus
-pay my entire family’s (including parents) way on an international vacation
-win a swim race every remaining year of my life
-be on a reality show (just one episode and only by chance)
-hook up with someone both ten years older and younger than I am
-buy into every fad for at least one day for the rest of my life
-ride an elephant
-be told I have sexy lips
-meet Becky Finkmon*
-party with members of the British Royal Family
-party with members of other royal families
-wear a blond wig that looks good and is convincing
-babysit David Sadd’s kids or spend a night at his bachelor pad (depends on how his life turns out)
-fuck with pirates
-make an outfit
-steal from a gypsy
-steal from a pirate
-make an amazing Greek meal
-own a chinchilla
-convince a sorority girl to not wear exercise clothes unless she’s exercising
-grow vegetables
-acquire the “Hightown” sign posted in Hightown, VA
-acquire a “Welcome to West Virginia” sign
-take care of Spatty when she’s wasted
-direct a porno
-help a hospital run better
-spend an hour in a car with a nun

Michael Elwes Graney

A Delta Debutante

You know what a debutante is or at least have heard of them. I want to point out the difference between a debutante and a Delta debutante. There, in fact, is a huge difference. For one, most debutantes don't skeet shoot (clay pigeon) nor have killed an animal. And I mean with a gun and with good intentions, not just with her car. A Delta debutante has camo in her wardrobe, owns a gun, and can shotgun a beer.  I know what you are thinking, we are hillbillies, rednecks, or whatever other nickname comes to mind. We are not! A Delta debutante knows her table manners, says sir and ma'am, and those girls on the Butterfinger commercial are undeniably based on us. (AH my my! What have we here?) Sound familiar? I realize that every debutante, no matter where she is from, is special and well versed. Just to paint a picture are these examples:
 Here a Delta debutante, Ellen Kent, after just killing an opossum at her hunting camp, Archer Island.  Just a typical weekend in the delta. 
 Here, Ellen Kent, the night of her debut. Complete with fan pin.

  Ellen Kent asked me to put this picture of her up. I can see why she loves it. She is so beautiful although you can't really see her amazingly curly hair. Ellen Kent is an amazing bow huntress! In fact, she is a bow tech at Sports Center in Starkville, MS. I have known EK since the day she was born. We are 1 month, 3 weeks, and 2 days apart. Ellen Kent and I know how to be classy and always cross our legs (CORRECTLY!) but we go camping every chance we can get. 

Comment! Tell me what you think! Do you have any more comparisons?

Molly Weissinger 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Guilty Pleasures

Everyone has a guilty pleasure, or a couple guilty pleasures. Sometimes people take guilty pleasures to the grave with them (I have a few that are coming with me), but sometimes people don’t care if everyone knows about their guilty pleasures. For instance, right now I am watching The Suite Life of on Deck, a Disney Channel program. I have watched this show several times before, I saw the movie twice, and I plan to watch the show frequently in the future. Other examples of this type of guilty pleasure could be my brother listening to Nickleback or how I can quote the entire script of Mean Girls. Not to drag on, but my aunt likes watching Minute to Win It, a show hosted by a chunky dude with spikey blonde hair and a goatee. 

Sometimes people’s guilty pleasures can make you cringe, like when people enjoy cracking their knuckles. One friend I have, not going to mention any names (*cough* Molly *cough, cough*)  likes to see dirty soap in the sink when she washes her hands. She feels cleaner that way. Nobody made it my job to judge. Guilty pleasures can also manifest themselves in food. I am sure that any southerner who’s been to a fair or a family gathering has seen exactly what I am talking about either at the “fried Twinkie” booth or on the vegetable plate where everything is wrapped in bacon.The south is a great place where you can divulge your guilty pleasures and nobody will judge you for not sounding like Snooki’s boyfriend. Since we are in good company, tell me some of your guilty pleasures. They will be kept just between us (and anyone else who reads this blog).

Michael Elwes Graney

Bless Her Heart

Bless her heart. You have heard it before. There are two meanings behind it. 

One form of this expression is when you see a sweet little baby and just putting your manners to good use by saying, "Oh, she is just precious! Bless her heart." This way is just simply saying that you want all good things for them and to bless them. An example of this would be this precious little baby:

Comment if you have any good "bless her heart" situations. 

Molly Weissinger

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My Beau

Andrew, my beau, goes to UVA. Obviously, we do not get to see each other often. However, we do call, text, and skype. We do not talk constantly but we do hear from each other daily.  A couple of weeks ago, we had a little tiff. The next day, I did not hear from him. It was no big deal. We were both busy and the fight was not that serious. Another day went by and still no word. After three days of not hearing from him, I got concerned. He did not answer my texts, my calls, nor was he on skype. I freaked out. After about thirty phone calls he finally answered in the middle of the night. The new World of Warcraft expansion pack came out and he had been playing it for the past three days without break.

Molly Weissinger

The Eighty Pounds of Laundry Story

Over the past several months, I have neglected to do my laundry even though I have a washer and dryer in my bedroom. I even tried hiring a maid named Doris, but she did want to do my laundry either. As months went by, my laundry piled up. I hadn’t seen my floor for weeks. There was no path to my bed, but I had to climb the mountains that were my dirty clothes and the many hampers I had already filled. On Saturday, I decided that the mess was not the way I had been raised. Therefore, it was unacceptable.

However, I did not foresee myself doing all this laundry so I stopped by the bookstore to see into having it sent out. I knew that I had quite a bit of laundry, so I gave the lady an estimate. I asked her, “If I dropped off eighty pounds of laundry, when would I be able to pick up my clothes?” She replied, “If you drop your clothes off today or tomorrow, they will be ready by Tuesday at noon.” Challenging her, I asked, “Even if I have 200 pounds of laundry?” She said, “Even if you have 200 pounds of laundry. This company is a professional laundry service; there has been no load of laundry that they could not handle.” Satisfied by the conversation, I went back to my townhouse to prepare my laundry. 

My cousin Anne, who was visiting Charlottesville for the weekend, met me at my townhouse and offered to help me transport my laundry. We proceeded to load twelve trash bags filled with laundry. Anne told me that the people were going to think that I was delivering laundry for an entire sports team, but I said that the Laundromat surely sees loads this large quite regularly. Anne and I constructed an over/under. If the laundry was under 55 pounds I would win the wager, but if my laundry amounted to more than 55 pounds she would be the winner. We loaded the twelve bags of laundry into her car.

When we pulled up to the bookstore, I began unloading bags of laundry one by one into the bookstore. By around bag three, the woman behind the counter said, “Wow! You really weren’t kidding, were you?” I said, “Nope, there is more to come too.” I continued to haul laundry into the bookstore, while the IT guy in the back of the bookstore chuckled mercilessly. At around bag seven, I asked the people who worked in the bookstore If they had ever seen so much laundry. They quickly replied, “no.” The woman behind the counter told me that she would bet that the Laundromat had never seen this much laundry from one person before. 

At around bag nine, I asked the lady if she thought I should try and record everything I am sending out. She replied, “I thought about that, but it would literally take hours and hours. You might as well trust them.” Finally, I had all the laundry ready to be sent out to the cleaners. I asked the lady how much all my laundry weighed. She said, “I don’t know, but I am sure that it is more than eighty pounds. If I had to estimate how much your laundry weighed, I would say close to 350 pounds. If you can get all of this washed and folded for under $100 dollars, you are doing extremely well in life.” After  seeing the look on her face and hearing some of the comments that she made, I grew worried that my laundry would not be ready on time. She assured me that the Laundromat would work tirelessly to complete my laundry even if that called for a terrible Monday. 

On Monday, I received a call from the Laundromat asking me one more time if I actually wanted them to wash all of those clothes. I assured them I did. Today, Tuesday, I went back to the bookstore to pick up my clothes. The guy at the counter (who was not working there when I dropped off my laundry), before speaking to me, said, “It’s not ready yet. The Laundromat called this morning and they said that you sent them way too many clothes and they were not going to be able to finish by today. They might be able to finish by tomorrow, but I am not sure. Also, they recommended that you rent a U-Haul or borrow a pick-up truck to carry all these clothes.” Apparently, I broke the system. However, I still don’t have my clothes. Tune into this blog to see what happens next!!! Woo hoo!!!!

Michael Elwes Graney

Title: Beaus Foes and Hoes

Why Beaus Foes and Hoes? It is the South. 

Beaus- A boy reared in the South with superior manners and quality conversation skills. As southerners, we girls achieve to find the perfect beau while the beaus achieve to be that idolized "beau". Example Rhett Buttler from Gone With the Wind

Foes- Enemies. The people (possibly non southerners) that we are kind to in their presence but are really an enemy. Keep in mind that just because the southerner is kind to you, that does not mean you are not a foe. However, foes go both ways and are known by both parties.

Hoes - A girl who chases after the southern beau. When she throws herself at these men, she comes off as someone who enjoys having sex a lot. The southern beau enjoys the hoe's company.

Shown: Michael Graney the night of the Bachelor's Ball, December 2010 in Greenville Mississippi

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